i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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