I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Randomize
