Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Randomize
