Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
Randomize
