Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Randomize
