i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
