I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
