I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
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