tell your sister to shave her snatch
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
