dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
NoShamevember. You game?
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
