talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Randomize