I hope mine doesn't look like that
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Randomize
