i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
