Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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