im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Randomize
