come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
