Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
Randomize
