Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
Everything about him screamed your future.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
