If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
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