1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
If I die, sorry about rent.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
