no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
