Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
