She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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