Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
