ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
