Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Randomize
