That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Randomize
