Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Randomize
