so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
