ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
We have so much sex to catch up on
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Randomize
