In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
Randomize
