Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
Even the bartender felt bad for me
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
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