Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
