So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Randomize
