Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
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