and she was petting her beer can
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
