Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Randomize
