The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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