Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Randomize
