Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
Randomize
