Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
You pole danced in your parka.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Randomize