We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
