I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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