I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Randomize
