I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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