I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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