Don't you send me to vm
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
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