I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
