he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Randomize
