never play flip cup with pint glasses
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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