let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
You took a bar mat shot.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Randomize
