Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
Randomize