You were right. It hurts to walk today.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
