I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Randomize
