Having a random hookup so left but love u
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
