I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
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