We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
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