So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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