why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Randomize