it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
There's a naked man in my car right now.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
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